Don't Let Her See
by Animagus95
Summary: Cassie and Elsa have been best friends for years, but what happens when Cassie realizes her new-found feelings? Will everything still be okay, or will it all go to hell? ((Cassie is an OC of myself, so if you don't like, don't read, this is more for me than anyone else anyway.)) (**Instances of self harm in later chapters**)
1. Special Surprise

**A/N: Hey guys. I have a lot of feelings when it comes to Elsa, so I wrote myself into a story with her (I ship myself with her). It's very angsty at times, but I want some serious fluff in the end.**

**This is the first fic I've written in AWHILE, and my first with an OC.**

**I don't own Frozen (because you can bet if I did Elsa would be mine).**

**Enjoy!**

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Cassie looked down at the text message on her phone.

"I'll be there in 10 mins, so be ready for once!"

She rolled her eyes at the screen. Of course she was ready to hang out with her best friend, was that even a question?

Looking out the window, she spotted the familiar ice blue Honda in her driveway and headed out the door. She was greeted by a voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Whoah, here's a shocker, Cassie Lightman, on time for something!"

Cassie jumped in the car and huffed. "Oh, shut up and drive, Elsa," she shot back jokingly. _What a loser, but that's why we're best friends. _The blonde smirked and backed the car out of the driveway.

"Perfect weather for an adventure in the woods, huh?" Elsa knew how excited Cassie got when it came to exploring even before she noticed her bouncing in the passenger seat.

Cassie could barely contain a squeak. "Ahh, I can't WAIT to get to the river! I hope the ducks are on the water I just love seeing the ducks!" She made a duck-face and quacking noises at Elsa until she looked over at her. Elsa tried to make a disapproving face, but ruined it by giggling.

_I win, Elsa._

She glanced at Cassie. "We'll go see the ducks, just please don't try to catch one. Again."

Cassie laughed and ran her fingers through her hair. "Aw c'mon, Elsa, that was _one time _can't you just let it go?" Elsa grinned triumphantly at Cassie's reaction.

_Gosh, I love it when she makes that face. It's so cute…Wait, what?_

Cassie's brows furrowed for a second, confused by her own thought. Thankfully, Elsa didn't seem to notice as they pulled into the lot at the park.

Elsa opened the door and turned to Cassie. "Alright! Are you ready for some fun?" Elsa climbed out of the car as Cassie shook herself out of the daze. It was just one harmless thought, nothing to get worried about. Nothing could stop her from having a great time.

They spent four hours at the park, including a half hour following the duck around, but the girls were reluctant to end the night. Luckily, Cassie had one last thing up her sleeve for Elsa.

"So before we end this glorious adventure, I have a fantastic new place to show you."

Elsa looked skeptical, but waited for Cassie to continue.

Trying to appear casual, Cassie shrugged her shoulders and said, "Well I mean I found it a couple weeks ago when I was exploring on my own, and I think it's pretty amazing, but I guess you don't wanna see it then…" Cassie stretched and waited for Elsa to take the bait.

_You know you want to see it, Elsa. _

Elsa could tell Cassie was messing with her, so she decided to mess back. Elsa replied slyly, "Well, maybe you should just keep it as your little secret if it's so great." She raised her eyebrows playfully. "That's fine, I understand." She started back down the trail so that her grin wouldn't give her away. Elsa wanted to win this one.

Completely convinced with Elsa's performance, Cassie grabbed her arm. "What? No! Elsa, please this place is so amazing you just _have _to see it at this time of day, it's so—"

Elsa's laughter cut her off.

"Of _course _I want to see it, how could you think I wouldn't?" Elsa gave Cassie another jeering look. Cassie's distressed face melted into a small smile.

_God, there's that face again. How perfect can she be?_

Her smile faltered for a second, but Cassie spoke again quickly to hide it. "Alright then, c'mon, Sassy Pants."

Cassie's hand slid down from Elsa's arm to her hand as she pulled her up the hill and through the trees. Elsa couldn't see anything out of the ordinary in front of Cassie, so she guessed it was some distance away. Cassie knew the clearing was roughly a ten minute walk from the trail, but they needed to get there before the sun set. Looking up, Cassie noticed the sky fading from bright blue to a yellowish orange.

_Shoot, we're aren't going to make it on time at this pace._

She called over her shoulder to Elsa, "We need to speed up or we'll miss it!" Cassie sped up as Elsa asked what they were going to miss, but Cassie was too focused to answer. They were racing the sun, and Cassie was not about to lose.

They were just about running now, trees flying past them in every direction. Elsa was trying to simultaneously figure out where Cassie was taking her and watch the ground so she wouldn't trip, but she was having a hard time doing so.

"Cassie, _seriously_, how much farther?" groaned Elsa. "This place better be as wonderful as you say it is, because I don't appreciate being dragged through the woods…" She made an irritated noise as a twig flew into her hair. Cassie grinned; she loved pouty Elsa.

A huge fallen tree was coming up on their left, which told Cassie they were here. Right on cue, the clearing appeared through the trees. _And it's not even sunset yet. _Cassie was so ecstatic she almost forgot that this was supposed to be a surprise for Elsa. Elsa was too busy picking foliage out of her hair and trying to catch her breath to recognize what was in front of her. Cassie chuckled.

"Boy, are you out of shape." Elsa rolled her eyes and blew a stray hair out of her face. Cassie grabbed Elsa's other hand and gave them an excited squeeze. She beamed at Elsa.

"Are you ready to see this super fantastic spot, Elsa?" she chirped.

Cassie's attitude was contagious. Elsa put on an amused yet sincere smile. She squeezed Cassie's hands. "Lead the way." Cassie felt her face get hot, but she assumed it was because she was so excited.

She backed into the clearing, and let go of one of Elsa's hands, using her now free hand to gesture at the dramatic scene before them. It was a patch of grass and wildflowers that led to the edge of a small cliff. Vines and trees framed the scene like a border from a storybook, and the faint scent of honeysuckle wafted through the summer air. The sun was eye-level from where they stood, but was quickly descending, giving the whole area an orange glow. Elsa was stunned. Stepping out of Cassie's grip, Elsa wandered towards the cliff, taking in every detail of the nature surrounding her. She gazed at the setting sun in awe.

_I knew you'd love it._

Cassie slowly walked up to Elsa and looked at her wide-eyed expression, feeling accomplished.

Elsa turned to her and spoke in a whisper, "Cassie…it's beautiful." Her icy blue eyes sparkled as they met Cassie's.

_Not as beautiful as you. _

"Didn't I tell you it was amazing?" she replied.

Elsa graciously smiled at her. Cassie's heart was fluttering.

_I could just kiss you right now._

It was a good thing that Elsa turned her attention back to the horizon because Cassie looked like she'd just seen a flying reindeer with how shocked she was.

_What are you thinking? Sure, Elsa is funny, smart, attractive… _She paused. Attractive…

Very attractive.

Cassie chided herself. _But she's your best friend and she's _a girl.

Elsa spoke. "It's breathtaking at sunset. The view…simply amazing." Cassie didn't hear her.

_Then why does it feel so right?_

Finally breaking her focus on the sunset, Elsa glanced at Cassie, noticing the confusion in her face.

"Cass?"

Cassie blinked and shook her head. _Oh shit, she's looking at you._

She forced a laugh and answered, "Yeah, sorry, drifted off for a second." She smiled and sat down, fiddling with her light brown hair, trying to concentrate on anything except Elsa. Elsa sat down cross-legged beside her.

"You know what we should do now that the sun's set?" Elsa asked. Cassie looked over, still fiddling with her hair. "We should stargaze. This place is perfect for that. It'll be nice and relaxing, right?" Elsa was trying to coax Cassie to speak; it wasn't normal for a girl as talkative as Cassie to suddenly get quiet.

Trying to be her chipper self, Cassie threw her arms in the air and replied, "Aw yes, Elsa that's a great idea!" before letting herself fall backwards into a comfortable stargazing position. Satisfied with the response, Elsa joined her, putting her hands behind her head to use as a pillow. Cassie copied her, eliciting an eye roll from Elsa. Cassie laughed, which seemed to echo in the quiet field.

_Say something, don't be weird._

"This is nice."

_Yeah, because that wasn't awkward or anything. Why are you acting like this? It's Elsa, you've never had a problem talking to Elsa. Now you can barely function around her!_

Elsa sighed, interrupting Cassie's mental rant. "Cass, you always know just what I need, when I need it." She smiled, and continued. "I've been so stressed lately. I knew going on one of our adventures would be a great escape, but this-" Elsa gestured to the sky, "-this is really incredible."

Cassie felt warm inside. She angled her head towards Elsa. "Anything for you, Elsa."

Cold fingertips laced with Cassie's as Elsa grabbed her hand. The warmth in her heart traveled back up to Cassie's face as Elsa looked over. The stars were twinkling in the dark purple sky, but Cassie didn't notice. Elsa's eyes were more beautiful than any of the stars. They twinkled as she said to Cassie, "And that's why I love you, Cassie."

Her heart sped up, her stomach was in knots. Cassie quickly licked her lips and answered. "I love you, too Elsa." They shared a smile for a moment before Elsa returned her hand behind her head. Cassie longed to re-establish the physical contact between them, but she restrained herself.

Elsa continued to watch the stars dance in the sky, but Cassie's mind was elsewhere. Why did she keep acting this way around Elsa? It wasn't the first time; she'd been getting fuzzy feelings like this for weeks. Then it hit her.

_Oh my God…I'm crushing on my best friend._


	2. Puzzle Pieces

**A/N: Wow thanks for all the kind reviews!**

**Just letting everyone know that updates will be fairly sporadic, as I get terrible writer's block and have lots of work for college to do.**

**Enjoy Chapter 2!**

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"God, what a night!" Cassie exclaimed as Elsa pulled into her driveway. She yawned and tried to shake herself awake, but it wasn't working.

"Someone's tired," Elsa giggled. Cassie yawned the same way as Elsa's cat, Anna, and she was just as cute. "You should get to bed, Cass."

Cassie tiredly blinked her eyes. "Yeah…you're right."

"As usual," Elsa remarked.

_There's that fucking face again, ugh._

Cassie rolled her eyes and opened the car door. "Well, I was right about the secret spot being awesome so there." She made a face at Elsa, who laughed in response.

"Fine, fine," Elsa conceded, "you were right about that."

The girls smiled at each other before Cassie stepped out of the car. Leaning down so that she was eye level with Elsa, Cassie timidly added one more comment.

"We should go back there again sometime."

_What are you doing, asking her for another date? No…that wasn't a date…was it?_

Elsa nodded in agreement. "We _definitely _will go back. Goodnight, Cassie."

"Goodnight, Elsa. Sweet dreams."

Cassie shut the door and headed up the driveway, scolding herself. _'Sweet dreams'? God, stop making yourself look stupid. _She unlocked the door and flopped on the couch. _It's a good thing you're such close friends because otherwise those crappy comments wouldn't seem normal at all. _Cassie sighed and brushed her bangs back, trying to figure out how she got herself into such a confused state. When did these feelings start? Or did they exist all along without her knowing?

She pulled out her phone and put her music playlist on shuffle in attempt to drown out the nagging whispers of doubt that filled her mind. The soft music now filling the room helped Cassie think. She decided to revisit the evolution of her friendship with Elsa. Hopefully she could uncover some clues…while reliving her best memories. She closed her eyes and let her mind float back to a time when things were simpler.

_We met during the spring musical freshman year…_

There's no better way to make friends in high school than joining the drama program. Cassie was determined to find out why, as well as have an excuse to walk around singing all the time, so she auditioned for the musical that year, "Hairspray".

The director shouted for everyone to sit according to their vocal parts, so Cassie headed over to the alto section.

"Alright, everyone," called the director. "We have a tradition during the first practice of each season to help the new members of our family break the ice." The young man scanned the eager faces seated in front of him before continuing. "I want all of you to turn to a person on either side of you that you do not know and introduce yourself. Smile! Don't be afraid; we're all mad here!" His last comment elicited muffled laughs from a few students before small conversations erupted.

Cassie took a mental breath, hoping not to sound as awkward as she felt doing this. She turned to her right towards a platinum blonde girl who appeared to be a reluctant to participate as she was. The girl noticed the new attention from Cassie, and hesitantly turned her head. A pair of ice blue eyes met Cassie's as she introduced herself. "Hi." Her voice was weak. "I'm Cassie Lightman. Freshman newbie. Heh…" She cleared her throat slightly.

The blonde half-smiled. "Elsa Arendella. Also a freshman newbie haha."

Cassie chuckled. "This is only slightly awkward, right?" Elsa flashed a full smile. "But I promise you I'm only 20% awkward sometimes."

Elsa laughed, which encouraged Cassie.

"Well I'm about the same percentage of awkward, so I think we'll get along fine," Elsa answered.

This time the girls both laughed.

Little did they realize that one awkward forced interaction between them sparked such a tight-knit friendship.

Fast forward to junior year. It's prom season, the most wonderful time of the year. Cassie remembers it as the first time she knew that Elsa would always be there for her.

Elsa's phone buzzed in her pocket, playing an excerpt from "Defying Gravity". She looked at the screen and her face lit up; Cassie.

"What's up, Cassie?" asked Elsa.

"ELSA. ELSA I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE IT. OH MY GOSH."

Elsa had to hold the phone away from her ear to avoid getting her eardrum blown out. Cassie was an excitable girl, but this was a little much.

"Cass, geez thanks for that, wow my ear…Seriously, though, what's going on? What won't I believe?"

Cassie could barely keep from squealing as she replied. " . .PROM." She happily shrieked as Elsa responded with "Oh my gosh", "I'm so happy for you", and "When did this happen?"

Cassie took a deep breath and described to Elsa how Hank, one of the most attractive guys in the whole junior class, approached her at lunch with five roses that spelt out "Prom?" Elsa was thrilled for her best friend. They spent the rest of the night planning their dream prom.

All the way up until prom night, both girls were beyond excited. Clad in their beautiful dresses, Elsa in royal blue, Cassie in teal, in the arms of their dates, the evening started out wonderfully. Hank seemed particularly eager, which made Cassie think that he might kiss her tonight. She was right about Hank wanting a kiss, but he didn't want it from her. Cassie saw Hank with another girl, who he had apparently been trying to make jealous by asking Cassie to the prom. He'd built up her happiness for a month and succeeded in destroying it in an instant.

Completely humiliated and heartbroken, Cassie made a dash for the bathroom where she could cry alone. Elsa watched a streak of teal tear across the room, and, knowing it was Cassie, quickly followed. She didn't know why Cassie was running for the bathroom, but she knew it wouldn't be good.

"Cass?" Elsa slipped through the door. Sniffling could be heard from one of the stalls. Cassie's heels lay strewn on the floor. Elsa gently called to her again.

"Cassie? Everything alright?" The sniffles stopped.

"Elsa?" Cassie answered hoarsely. She hated when people saw her crying. Cassie unlocked the stall and slowly opened the door. There were tear tracks in her makeup and her eyes were pink. Elsa knew how Cassie felt about letting people see her cry, so she had to be gentle.

Elsa's voice was soft as she approached Cassie. "What's the matter, dear? Why are you crying?"

Sad eyes met Elsa's. "Hank. He didn't care about taking me to prom, he just used me to make Jenny jealous." She looked away. "I saw them kissing out on the patio." Fresh tears welled up in her eyes. Elsa took Cassie's face in her hands and gingerly wiped the tears away.

"He's an asshole. You deserve much better. Anyone would be lucky to have you, Cass. You're smart, funny, the nicest person I know," Cassie looked up with a timid smile, "and you're beautiful."

The two friends gazed at each other, sharing their special moment. Cassie glanced Elsa over in her blue halter dress. She never realized how beautiful Elsa was. Cassie blushed and pulled Elsa into a hug.

"Thank you, so much," she mumbled into Elsa's shoulder. "You're the best friend I could've asked for." The sad tears were replaced by happy ones. "I love you," Cassie whispered into her ear, before kissing Elsa's cheek.

"I love you, too, Cass."

Cassie's eyes shot open as she sat up in realization; that was the beginning.

_I can't believe I didn't realize…_

From that night at junior prom onwards, Cassie was able to pick out instances from her past where she felt strangely towards Elsa. The next song or her playlist started.

_"Down to you. You're pushing and pulling me down to you…"_

At the time, she'd just brushed them off as moments of extreme sisterly love, but that's because she never considered the alternative.

_"Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself…"_

It was so easy to just let everything slide. How could she ever develop feelings for her best friend?

But at the same time, how could she NOT develop feelings for someone like Elsa. Beautiful, smart, caring, sexy…

_"From saying something that I should've never thought of you…"_

_What are you DOING? _Cassie pulled her knees up to her chest and put her head down. _How could you let this happen?_

She valued her friendship with Elsa more than anything. Whenever problems arose in either of their lives, they always had each other. Could she risk that bond?

_Should I say something? Should I go for it?_

_"You're pushing and pulling me down to you…"_

Cassie squinted her eyes shut. The conflicting feelings in her head were pounding at her temples.

_How will Elsa react?_

_"But I don't know what I want…"_

_Disgusted? Never speak to me again? Or would she reciprocate?_

Thinking back, Cassie thought of instances where she acted a little flirty and Elsa seemed to flirt back. Or was that just playful friend talk?

_"No, I don't know what I want…"_

It was always Cassie and Elsa, best friends through thick and thin, nothing more. Now things aren't so black and white. _The only way to make them so is to decide; are you going to tell her?_

Lifting her head from her knees, Cassie weighed the possibility in her head.

_She's been your best friend for years…You've gone through a lot together. You promised to always be there for each other, no matter what…Even if she doesn't feel the same way, you have to tell her. If she's as serious about this friendship as you are, she won't let something like this ruin it. _Cassie was feeling reassured.

_Besides, you'll never know if you have a chance with her unless you tell her._

Cassie rose from the couch, the possibility of Elsa's acceptance burning inside her with the fires of hope. Her face showed the determination in her heart. She was prepared to tell Elsa when the time was right.

_"But now I know what I want…"_

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**A/N: I just ****_had _****to put that Paramore song in there (I Caught Myself) haha.**

**How will things play out for Cassie? -w-**


	3. Picking Up the Pieces

**A/N: Sorry I've been slow to update, but I've been wrestling with this fic. There were so many different ways I considered continuing this, but this is what I ended up doing.**

**Thanks for all the follows, favorites, and reviews!**

**Let me know what you think of it this chapter!**

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It was two weeks later and Cassie still hadn't found the right time to talk to Elsa about her feelings. It wasn't that she was avoiding the issue, on the contrary, it was all Cassie could think about, the problem was that she kept over-thinking it. When she would finally get enough courage to tell Elsa, Cassie would envision the worst possible scenarios for Elsa's reaction, the most melodramatic ending with a milkshake being poured on her head. But today, Cassie was determined to get a plan in motion.

_All you have to do is tell her. _Cassie was walking through the local shopping outlets, trying to clear her head. It was windy, blowing the humid summer air through the strip mall. The weather made the outlets less crowded than usual, but Cassie enjoyed it.

_Alright, you just need to set up a time to meet with Elsa. _She pulled out her phone and stared at Elsa's contact, trying to decide whether to call her or text her. Cassie scrunched her nose, thinking about which would be better. By now she'd walked almost the entire strip of stores and was approaching the movie theater. She opened a blank text message and typed, "Hey, Els. Call me when you get a chance; I want to hang out soon!"

Cassie noticed a flash of white-blonde hair pass her out of the corner of her eye. She turned around and saw the backs of a guy and a girl walking the opposite way. _Wow, that girl looks a lot like Elsa from behind. _Cassie shrugged and hit "Send" on her phone. A few seconds later, she heard the song "Popular" from Wicked chime behind her. _Funny, that's what Elsa's text alert sounds like…_

Turning on her heel, Cassie watched through the crowd as the platinum blonde-haired girl stopped walking and reached into her sling bag. Pulling out her phone to read the message, Cassie was able to see the girl's face. It _was _Elsa.

_But who is that _guy _with her?_

The guy noticed Elsa was no longer walking with him, so he doubled back to her, letting Cassie get a good look at him. His face looked familiar. _Where do I know him from? _Elsa smiled at her phone as she read Cassie's text. The guy spoke to Elsa, no doubt asking why she stopped. Elsa replied, and the guy flashed a smile.

_OH, I can't believe I didn't recognize him right away. That's Elsa's junior and senior prom date. _Elsa typed a reply and put her phone away. _What was his name again? _Cassie's phone buzzed in her pocket, but she didn't bother checking it. The guy ran his fingers through his wavy dirty-blonde hair. _Jack, his name is Jack._

_Wait…are they on a date?!_

Cassie's eye just about popped out of her head. Elsa and Jack continued down the sidewalk. Cassie's heart was racing nervously. She _had to know _for sure; if Elsa was seeing someone, then there was no way she would accept Cassie's confession of her feelings. Cassie quietly slipped through the mass of people, not letting herself get any closer than five or six feet from the couple. She could barely make out what they were saying over the noise from the moviegoers, but Cassie was too determined to give up. She focused all of her attention on their words. Jack began.

"Great movie, huh?"

"Oh yeah, definitely. Although the ending was a little cliché," replied Elsa.

Jack laughed. "Cliché? Why's that?"

"The guy and girl were separated for months, yet somehow they met up again and got back together in the end." Elsa shrugged. "Pretty overdone, if you ask me."

Jack looked over and grinned. "Movie aside, I'm really glad you agreed to hang out with me today, Elsa." He stopped and turned to her, looking into the blue pools of her eyes. She smiled and answered with, "Yeah, me too, Jack." He returned the smile. Before anything else could be said, Jack closed the distance between them and kissed Elsa. Cassie's chest felt like it was collapsing in on itself. Jack cradled Elsa's face in his hands as Cassie's heart shattered.

Cassie turned around, fighting back tears and clutching her chest, and, unable to watch anymore, dashed off in the direction of her car.

By the time she reached her car, Cassie was a wreck. She couldn't start the engine because she couldn't see the ignition through her tears. Cassie rested her forehead on the steering wheel and sobbed, her body shaking.

_Why does this hurt so much? _she asked herself.

_Because you're in love with her, idiot._


	4. Moving On

**A/N: Don't let the chapter title trick you with this one.**

**Just as a heads up, this is the beginning of the major angst in the story. Nothing triggering, just kinda sad.**

**Feedback is always appreciated!**

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"Great movie, huh?"

"Oh yeah, definitely. Although the ending was a little cliché," replied Elsa. She really enjoyed the movie, but catching up with her high school friend Jack was better.

Jack laughed. "Cliché? Why's that?" He put his hands in the pockets of his jacket and waited for Elsa's explanation.

"The guy and girl were separated for months, yet somehow they met up again and got back together in the end." Elsa shrugged. "Pretty overdone, if you ask me." They were joking around the way they used to. It was like no time had passed, and they loved it.

Jack looked over and grinned. "Movie aside, I'm really glad you agreed to hang out with me today, Elsa." He stopped and stepped towards her, confusing Elsa; why was he looking at her like that? Not wanting to jump to conclusions, Elsa smiled and answered with, "Yeah, me too, Jack." He returned the smile, tilting his head slightly to the side. Elsa was about to ask what he was doing, but before she got the chance, Jack closed the distance between them and kissed her.

Elsa was frozen. Why was he kissing her? She didn't want this! Jack cradled Elsa's face in his hands. She realized Jack would think she was enjoying the kiss unless she made her position known.

Elsa pushed him away, quite abruptly, provoking a confused look from Jack.

"What's wrong, Elsa?" He was concerned the kiss was sub-par.

"What's wrong? What's _wrong_?" shot back Elsa. She threw her hands up in bewilderment. "Jack, we talked about this back in high school…I just wanted to be friends." She dropped her arms, waiting to see what his excuse was for breaking their agreement.

His face fell as he sighed. Elsa crossed her arms, still waiting for Jack to try to justify himself. Finally he spoke.

"When I contacted you about catching up, I wanted to see if there was still a spark between us." Elsa began to respond, but Jack cut her off. "And before you get upset and say that I wasn't honest with you, let me finish what I have to say. Please," he added hastily. Elsa nodded, her arms still folded.

"Yes, I remember our talk about this. I remember how you reacted after senior prom when I confessed my feelings for you and you said we should just be friends. Remember how I said I would be okay with that? And that I would get over it? Well…" Jack nervously shifted his weight, searching for the right the words. "…I lied." Elsa's face fell. He looked her in the eyes before continuing. "I never got over you. Those last few months of senior year were so hard for me, but I thought that graduating and going off to college would help with that. It didn't. I've never completely stopped thinking about you. And while I really did want to catch up with you, by main concern with us seeing this movie was to determine if I had _any _sort of chance with you. But now I know there's no chance of 'us' happening." Jack's thoughts seemed to drift away after that.

Elsa felt terrible for assuming that Jack's intentions were spiteful. He was just confused and looking for an answer. Now he probably thought she hated him with the way she acted. She had to be as clear as possible with where they stood, but also address it gently. She reached out and put a hand on Jack's arm. He looked up, and it was clear how much her reaction had hurt him.

Elsa smiled weakly. "Jack…you're a great guy, don't get me wrong, and anyone would be lucky to have you, but I just don't feel the same way about you." Jack didn't look consoled. Elsa tried again. "I'm really sorry about how I reacted to the kiss. It just…caught me so off guard. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to just push you away immediately, or run off afterwards, because that wouldn't be fair to you. I was under the impression you just wanted to get together as friends, nothing more." Her eyes pleaded for Jack to believe her.

Jack blew his hair out of his face and forced a laugh. "I guess we came here with two different ideas of what we were doing." He shrugged. "I was hoping for a date, and you just wanted to catch up." His brows furrowed as he finished with, "This wasn't fair to you, Elsa, and for that I'm sorry."

"Jack…"

"No, really, Elsa," he said, cutting her off. "It's okay. I'll get over it, for real this time," he added with a soft grin. Elsa sighed. She knew that nothing else she could say would be helpful, so all she could do was nod.

He pulled her into a hug, leaning his chin on her head, saying, "Thank you for this, though. If we'd never met up, I'd have spent who knows how much longer wondering about us. Now I can move on."

Jack and Elsa separated, Elsa still looking at Jack. "Well…I guess I'd better go," said Jack as he turned to leave. "See you around, Elsa." He started off down the sidewalk.

Elsa didn't want to leave it like that, so she called after him. "Jack!" He glanced over his shoulder at her. "I really am sorry this didn't work out." He smiled sadly. "Yeah, me, too."

Elsa watched him walk away until she couldn't see him anymore. As much as she wanted to make Jack happy, she knew that forcing a relationship for him wasn't the way to do it. He needed to move on.

She went towards her car. She was still distraught from the whole experience, so Elsa reasoned that the best person to talk this out with would be Cassie, and she was supposed to call her tonight anyway.

Getting in her car, Elsa couldn't wait to talk to Cassie to get her mind off that awkward experience. She started the engine and set off for home, back to a place where things made sense.

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**A/N: To answer and questions: Yes, this is Jack Frost. No, I don't HATE Jelsa (I just reallllllllyy don't ship it).**

**Updates for this should be happening fairly regularly for right now because I actually know where I want to take this.**

**Best**

**~Animagus**


	5. Bruised and Battered

**A/N: So here is the next chapter. I've been really suckish at updating, and for that I am sorry.**

****trigger warning, because this one is where the self-harm starts****

**I didn't want to make it too graphic, so I didn't, but I gave you the warning.**

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It was a wonder that Cassie made it home safely. Between being unable to focus and crying her heart out, she could barely see the road. She could scarcely remember anything about the twenty minute car ride, but since she was now in her driveway, Cassie knew she made it home somehow.

Turning off the engine, Cassie couldn't decide if she wanted to go curl up on her bed, or just keep her head down on the steering wheel. Cassie decided the former was better because she could snuggle with stuffed animals in her room. She tried to catch her breath and dry her eyes a little before getting out of the car, but she was still hiccupping by the time she got to the front door. Her hands were shaking as she fished the keys out of her bag, so much so that she could barely unlock the door. The keys hit the ground with a clang.

_Fuck! Just…get a hold of yourself for FIVE MINUTES._

Cassie picked up the keys and held her breath as she unlocked the door. She could feel the tears welling up in eyes again. Cassie slowly crept through the door, then bolted upstairs to her door and shut the door.

_Don't feel it…Just ignore it…_

But she couldn't. Cassie sunk to her knees in front of the door as the scene of Elsa kissing Jack played on loop in her mind. The hot tears rolled freely down her face as she shook uncontrollably.

_Why did you have to fall for her? Did you think it would end differently than this?_

Her phone rang. Who would be calling her now? Cassie looked at the caller ID: Elsa.

"No!" she yelled, throwing her phone on her bed. After a dozen rings, it stopped. The call prompted a fresh round of tears for Cassie.

Cassie sprawled forward so that her face was touching the floor and softly pounded the ground with her fist. She was heartbroken, but now she was also mad at herself.

_How could you be so stupid? How could you think _she _would have feelings for _you_? A failure like you…_

All happy thoughts of being together with Elsa, all the dates she had planned in her mind, the sensation of holding her, of kissing her, mocked her now. Cassie wanted them to be gone, and she knew that crying them away wasn't going to work.

_This is all your fault. It's always your fault._

It had been years since Cassie felt this low, and that was because it was before she met Elsa. Up until now, Elsa had been a source of comfort and reassurance to her. Before Elsa, Cassie turned to cutting to relieve her problems, and when she became friends with Elsa, helped Cassie quit. She didn't need to hurt herself to forget her problems because she had Elsa. But now that Elsa _was _the problem…

_You have nowhere else to turn._

Cassie sat up and wiped her eyes, which glistened with a darkness she hadn't felt in years. The anxiety in her chest was suffocating her, grasping at her heart. She went straight for a shaving razor because she'd gotten rid of her other blades years ago. She needed a release.

She looked at the shining razor and hesitated. _You know where this leads…The road is long and treacherous. _Cassie grimaced, looking the scars that were mostly faded on her wrist. _But so is a road of unrequited love._

Cassie closed her eyes and ran the blade across her wrist. It stung, but not as much as she remembered. She struck again, and again, feeling the warm blood spread across her skin. It was just as relaxing as it used to be. Cassie didn't care how wrong it was, or what would happen later, all she cared about was feeling good now.

The anxiety was subsiding, and her breathing was regulating. Cassie stopped crying and took a deep breath, looking at her arm. She chuckled darkly.

_Hurts less than the heartbreak._


End file.
